My title is ‘Count Blender’. I am descended from a long line of psychics. My ancestors served as court psychics to the crowned heads of Europe from ancient times to present day. I have been asked to lend my services to the Otero Residents Forum. Excuse me…I’m being called from beyond…someone or something is channeling a message from the dark side. I hear a voice. A panicked voice. Someone is calling me…an ‘idiot’…yes…I’m getting it now…they are saying, ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE, YOU IDIOT!’ huh? Oh…I left my cell phone on in my pocket. ‘Hi mom! Okay. I didn’t realize it was still on. I thought I had ended the call. Hey, you are going to send that check, right? Okay. I’ll look for a real job. Okay mom. Love you too!’
Where were we? Oh yes, I am a psychic demographer. I obtain demographic information from messages sent to me from the Universe. I will be interpreting messages either channeled to me from the spirits or messages I perceive by simply applying my gift to a specific demographic.
For instance, the ORF (Otero Residents Forum) has asked me to define the demographic of those individuals who favor World Heritage Site designation out at White Sands. From my intense concentration on this particular demographic of local UN Lovers, I have deduced the following:
The majority of these people are on welfare or some sort of social entitlement.
They like to mix cheap vodka with Tang.
Their parents were cousins.
And they like to publish their comments to letters to the editor in the local paper.
Some of their favorite responses are: ‘What an idiot’, ‘You’re and idiot’, and ‘What an idiot’.
Somewhat limited in their vocabulary but consistent with the demographic of victim entitlement. I see this demographic as an ideal target for global brain washing and conspiracy leeching. The globalist’s propaganda wizards should delight in the abundance of empty craniums in Alamogordo. This population is perfect for inclusion in the global agenda for mind numbed robots born of a stagnant gene pool desired to do the bidding of the world community.
I have to rest. I’ve expended an enormous amount of mental energy on this particular demographic. It’s like I have to think for them. I wonder who reads the cereal box to them in the morning. I’m off on another wonderful adventure. I’ll be back, soon, with more psychic demographics, gleaned from the Universe hovering over your beautiful city. Tah Tah!!!!
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Monday, October 1, 2007
THE PSYCHIC DEMOGRAPHER
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4 comments:
The Chamber of Commerce and OCEDC could use your services. Do you have an hourly rate? Would you consider a group discount if they threw in advice for the City Commission? Marietta? Oh, alright, what if we threw in the LINCOLN/Otero Solid Waste?
You guys need to get another Psychic, He seems to be describing the wrong ones.
Oh just brilliant writing.Why UN lovers. Why not conspiracy skeptics? You know, the masons and the Knights Templar and many more are also suspect. Why the UN? It looks to me like the global corporations are taking control of the world economy. I think that is where you might look if you are looking for someone trying to take over the world and your life. Cheap labor is the final step so time too wake up my friend. You are looking at the bait and switch while the truth is in plain sight. No psychic necessary.
Ron: I think its great you think you know about cheap labor.
Study the Law of the Sea Treaty.
In fact...I challenge you to prove your assertion this blog was created by UN LOVERS!
...meds...he needs meds...
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